Ask DJ Lyons about Bullying: Question #1

As a Conflict Resolution Specialist, I sometimes receive questions about coping with bullying from one of my readers or from one of the workshop attendees of my “Be Bully Free” school programs. Knowing that these issues are common to many young people throughout the world, it felt timely to start an Ask DJ Lyons about Bullying column. Please note that DJ Lyons is the pen name I use for my two published books and some of my other writing. My real name is Debbie Dunn. Should you have a question of your own about bullying, feel free to e-mail Debbie Dunn aka DJ Lyons at moredunntales@yahoo.com. I will of course keep your real name and e-mail address entirely confidential. You will receive both a personal reply and a response via this column. I will change your name in the column to protect your privacy.

Question #1: Girl from UK deals with frequent name-calling from one persistent boy

“I would like to ask you something about my experience with bullying and I hope you can help me. Right, so there's this boy called Thomas (name changed to protect his privacy) in my year and he makes these faces at me or calls me a name I really do not like. So he does this face once in a while, but hasn't done it for weeks. Then last Wednesday he pulled it when I was in the art room and he walked by the door, with his friends, whom I know, are very nice people and they don't do it, it's only him. It's started about near the beginning of year 9 and it's year 10 now; but in year 10 he hardly ever does it, less than once in a week, but when he does do it, it just really bothers me. Everyone has grown up except him; he is so sad and annoying. I would like to ask you how I should deal with it and the best method you can think of. Right now I guess he can see it in my eyes that I get annoyed, but I don't ever talk to him or say anything back, why should I waste my breathe on him? I am thinking that I should maybe smile at him nicely and then say a nice comment to subtly show him that you’re wasting time doing what you’re doing, but I’m not really sure. As for my personality I am a well liked person with many friends, I’m quite confident but I can be shy at times but I wouldn't say I am a weak person. I hope you can give me some advice to resolve my issue.”

Thanks in advance,
Sandra (name changed to protect her privacy)

Click BE BULLY FREE to read my response on Examiner.com.

Mini Lesson Plan: Who Really Started the Rumor about Cindy?

After reading the story called “Who Really Started the Rumor about Cindy,” students will take part in a variety of follow-up activities to enhance the learning experience.

Step 1: Read the story called Who Really Started the Rumor about Cindy?

Story Description: Troublemaker Donny decided to make trouble for both Emily and Cindy. He would tell Emily that Cindy spread a rumor about her. He would tell Cindy that Emily was spreading a rumor about her. Emily’s inner wisdom alerted her that Donny was lying; therefore, she did not take the rumor seriously. Unfortunately, Cindy believed Donny was telling the truth. She was determined to get revenge on Emily for tainting her name. Would Cindy realize the truth before it was too late?

Chapter 1: Cindy Retaliates by Spreading a False Rumor about Emily

Chapter 2: Lunchtime Confrontation between Cindy and Emily

Chapter 3: Flashback: Donny has Fun Making Trouble with Two Girls

Chapter 4: Donny’s Anticipated Lunchtime Fireworks did NOT go as Planned

Step 2: Class discussion about the story.

Please note: The discussion questions are built into the story links above. The same discussion questions are also included in the role-play. This will help reinforce the concepts taught.

Step 3: Have class participate in the role-play based on the complete story called Who Really Started the Rumor about Cindy?

Self-Mentoring Role-Play: Who Really Started the Rumor about Cindy?

Self-Mentoring role-play: Who Really Started the Rumor about Cindy?

Visit this page to get the link to the PDF file for the scripted role-play to print for classroom use called “Who Really Started the Rumor About Cindy?”

A. Students participate in scripted role-play called “Who Really Started the Rumor about Cindy?”

Story Description: Troublemaker Donny decided to make trouble for both Emily and Cindy. He would tell Emily that Cindy spread a rumor about her. He would tell Cindy that Emily was spreading a rumor about her. Emily’s inner wisdom alerted her that Donny was lying; therefore, she did not take the rumor seriously. Unfortunately, Cindy believed Donny was telling the truth. She was determined to get revenge on Emily for tainting her name. Would Cindy realize the truth before it was too late?

Click SELF-MENTORING to read and download the role-play on Examiner.com.

Self-Mentoring Tale Hub page: Who Really Started the Rumor about Cindy?

Here is a story scenario you can use to help teach about the need for Self-Mentoring when you are a victim of false rumors and trying to get to the bottom of a he said – she said situation. Have you ever had one of those he said / she said situations where you are not sure who to believe? That’s what happened to Cindy and Emily.

Troublemaker Donny decided to make trouble for both Emily and Cindy. He would tell Emily that Cindy spread a rumor about her. He would tell Cindy that Emily was spreading a rumor about her. Emily’s inner wisdom alerted her that Donny was lying; therefore, she did not take the rumor seriously. Unfortunately, Cindy believed Donny was telling the truth. She was determined to get revenge on Emily for tainting her name. Would Cindy realize the truth before it was too late?

A. Teacher reads story to the class called “Who Really Started the Rumor about Cindy?”

B. Story Description: Troublemaker Donny decided to make trouble for both Emily and Cindy. He would tell Emily that Cindy spread a rumor about her. He would tell Cindy that Emily was spreading a rumor about her. Emily’s inner wisdom alerted her that Donny was lying; therefore, she did not take the rumor seriously. Unfortunately, Cindy believed Donny was telling the truth. She was determined to get revenge on Emily for tainting her name. Would Cindy realize the truth before it was too late?

Links to all 4 chapters for Who Really Started the Rumor about Cindy?

Chapter 1: Cindy Retaliates by Spreading a False Rumor about Emily

Chapter 2: Lunchtime Confrontation between Cindy and Emily

Chapter 3: Flashback: Donny has Fun Making Trouble with Two Girls

Chapter 4: Donny’s Anticipated Lunchtime Fireworks did NOT go as Planned

Mini Lesson Plan: Matt Falsely Accuses Jonathan of Stealing

After reading the story called “Matt Falsely Accuses Jonathan of Stealing,” students will take part in a variety of follow-up activities to enhance the learning experience.

Step 1: Read the story called Matt Falsely Accuses Jonathan of Stealing.

Story Description: This story is about a boy not only making a false accusation of a good friend, he punches him in the nose. Will his friend agree to forgive him? Find out in the story called “Matt Falsely Accuses Jonathan Of Stealing.”

Chapter 1: Matt Falsely Accuses Jonathan of Stealing

Chapter 2: Matt Returns to School after being Suspended for Three Days

Chapter 3: Matt Tries To Fix His Friendship with Jonathan

Step 2: Class discussion about the story.

Please note: The discussion questions are built into the story links above.

Step 3: Have class participate in the role-play based on the complete story called Matt Falsely Accuses Jonathan of Stealing.

Anger Management Role-Play: Matt Falsely Accuses Jonathan of Stealing

Anger Management role-play: Matt Falsely Accuses Jonathan of Stealing

Visit this page to get the link to the PDF file for the scripted role-play to print for classroom use.

A. Students participate in scripted role-play called “Matt Falsely Accuses Jonathan of Stealing.”

Story Description: This story is about a boy not only making a false accusation of a good friend, he punches him in the nose. Will his friend agree to forgive him? Find out in the story called “Matt Falsely Accuses Jonathan Of Stealing.”

Click ANGER MANAGEMENT to read and download the role-play on Examiner.com.

Anger Management Tale Hub page: Matt Falsely Accuses Jonathan of Stealing

Here is a story scenario you can use to help teach about Anger Triggers, Anger Cues, our Fight or Flight Instinct, and Self-Mentoring techniques. The story is called “Matt Falsely Accuses Jonathan of Stealing.” This story is about a boy not only making a false accusation of a good friend, he punches him in the nose. Will his friend agree to forgive him? Find out in the story called “Matt Falsely Accuses Jonathan Of Stealing.”

Click ANGER MANAGEMENT to read Anger Management story: Matt Falsely Accuses Jonathan of Stealing.

Mini Lesson Plan: Denny Teaches Tom to Eat Crow (grades 6-8)

After reading the Diplomacy story called “Denny Teaches Tom to Eat Crow,” students will take part in a variety of follow-up activities to enhance the learning experience. Here is a story scenario you can use to help teach about the need to be diplomatic with adults in positions of power such as teachers, administrators, and parents. Valuing & Respecting Authority are two important survival skills that all thinking individuals need to display if they wish to get along well in this world. Students will learn when it might be appropriate to “eat crow” with teachers and other significant adults in their lives. One of the goals of this story is that students will increase the number of times they choose to “eat crow” with teachers instead of being rude or disrespectful.

Step 1: Read the story called “Denny Teaches Tom to Eat Crow.”

Story Description: Tom almost always got in trouble with his teachers while his best friend Denny rarely did. One day while the two boys were out fishing, Tom asked to know Denny’s secret. Denny, with the help of his grandfather, taught Tom the very important survival skill of learning how to “eat crow” with teachers, bosses, and other adults in positions of power.

Links to 3 chapters for “Denny Teaches Tom to Eat Crow.”

Chapter 1: Tom Gets In Trouble

Chapter 2: Tom and Denny

Chapter 3: Tom and Denny’s Grandpa

Step 2: Have class participate in the role-play based on the complete story called “Denny Teaches Tom to Eat Crow.”

Diplomacy role-play: Denny Teaches Tom to Eat Crow

Step 3: Have class participate in discussion questions about this story.

Let’s Discuss Denny Teaches Tom to Eat Crow

Let’s Discuss Diplomacy Tale: Denny Teaches Tom to Eat Crow

After reading the story called “Denny Teaches Tom to Eat Crow,” hold a class discussion using these ten discussion questions. You can also act the story out by using the scripted role-play provided.

Link to Self-Mentoring story: Denny Teaches Tom to Eat Crow

Link to Self-Mentoring role-play: Denny Teaches Tom to Eat Crow

Click DIPLOMACY to read the ten Class Discussion Questions as a follow-up to the story called “Denny Teaches Tom to Eat Crow.”

Diplomacy role-play: Denny Teaches Tom to Eat Crow

Visit this page to get the link to the PDF file for the scripted role-play to print for classroom use called “Denny Teaches Tom to Eat Crow.”

A. Students participate in scripted role-play called “Denny Teaches Tom to Eat Crow.”

Story Description: Tom almost always got in trouble with his teachers while his best friend Denny rarely did. One day while the two boys were out fishing, Tom asked to know Denny’s secret. Denny, with the help of his grandfather, taught Tom the very important survival skill of learning how to “eat crow” with teachers, bosses, and other adults in positions of power.

Click on DIPLOMACY to read and download the role-play on Examiner.com.

Tale Hub Page for Denny Teaches Tom to Eat Crow (Grades 6-8)

Here is a story scenario you can use to help teach about the need to be diplomatic with adults in positions of power such as teachers, administrators, and parents. Valuing & Respecting Authority are two important survival skills that all thinking individuals need to display if they wish to get along well in this world. Students will learn when it might be appropriate to “eat crow” with teachers and other significant adults in their lives. One of the goals of this story is that students will increase the number of times they choose to “eat crow” with teachers instead of being rude or disrespectful.

Section 1: Denny Teaches Tom to Eat Crow

A. Teacher reads story to the class called “Denny Teaches Tom to Eat Crow.”

B. Story Description: Tom almost always got in trouble with his teachers while his best friend Denny rarely did. One day while the two boys were out fishing, Tom asked to know Denny’s secret. Denny, with the help of his grandfather, taught Tom the very important survival skill of learning how to “eat crow” with teachers, bosses, and other adults in positions of power.

Links to 3 chapters for Denny Teaches Tom to Eat Crow

Chapter 1: Tom Gets In Trouble

Chapter 2: Tom and Denny

Chapter 3: Tom and Denny’s Grandpa

Mini Lesson Plan: Josh Takes a Risk (grades 4-8)

After reading the Communication Skills story called “Josh Takes a Risk,” students will take part in a variety of follow-up activities to enhance the learning experience. Here is a story scenario you can use to help teach about the importance of making eye contact with your teacher and your classmates when you give a public speaking speech or performance.

Step 1: Read the story called “Josh Takes a Risk.”

Story Description: Imagine your teacher expects each student in the room to give a speech or perform a story. You, however, are feeling nervous or reluctant to perform. That’s the way that a boy named Josh felt.

Here is a story scenario you can use to help teach about importance of making eye contact with others when you do public speaking.

As you may be aware, many students would rather eat nails than get up in front of their classmates to do any kind of public speaking. Making eye contact with your teacher and the other students in the room is one technique that really helps build your comfort level in the long run. A boy named Josh did not believe that making eye contact could actually help him build his comfort level; however, when he finally took the risk to try it out, he found it actually worked for him as well.

Step 2: Have class participate in the role-play based on the story called “Josh Takes a Risk.”

Communication Skills role-play: Josh Takes a Risk

Step 3: Have class participate in discussion questions about this story.

Let’s Discuss Josh Takes a Risk

Let’s Discuss Communication Skills Tale: Josh Takes a Risk

After reading the story called “Josh Takes a Risk,” hold a class discussion using these ten discussion questions. You can also act the story out by using the scripted role-play provided.

Link to Communication Skills story: Josh Takes a Risk

Link to Communication Skills role-play: Josh Takes a Risk

Click COMMUNICATION SKILLS to read ten Class Discussion Questions as a follow-up to the story called “Josh Takes a Risk.”

Communication Skills role-play: Josh Takes a Risk

Visit this page to get the link to the PDF file for the scripted role-play to print for classroom use called “Josh Takes a Risk.”

A. Students participate in scripted role-play called “Josh Takes a Risk.”

Story Description: This role-play called “Josh Takes a Risk” illustrates the importance of making eye contact with your teacher and your classmates when you give a public speaking speech or performance.

Additional Note: Imagine your teacher expects each student in the room to give a speech or perform a story. You, however, are feeling nervous or reluctant to perform. That’s the way that a boy named Josh felt.

Here is a story scenario you can use to help teach about importance of making eye contact with others when you do public speaking.

As you may be aware, many students would rather eat nails than get up in front of their classmates to do any kind of public speaking. Making eye contact with your teacher and the other students in the room is one technique that really helps build your comfort level in the long run. A boy named Josh did not believe that making eye contact could actually help him build his comfort level; however, when he finally took the risk to try it out, he found it actually worked for him as well.

Click COMMUNICATION SKILLS to read and download the role-play on Examiner.com.

Communication Skills Tale - Josh Takes a Risk

Imagine your teacher expects each student in the room to give a speech or perform a story. You, however, are feeling nervous or reluctant to perform. That’s the way that a boy named Josh felt.

Here is a story scenario you can use to help teach about importance of making eye contact with others when you do public speaking.

As you may be aware, many students would rather eat nails than get up in front of their classmates to do any kind of public speaking. Making eye contact with your teacher and the other students in the room is one technique that really helps build your comfort level in the long run. A boy named Josh did not believe that making eye contact could actually help him build his comfort level; however, when he finally took the risk to try it out, he found it actually worked for him as well.

A. Teacher reads story to the class called “Josh Takes a Risk.”

B. Story Description: This story called “Josh Takes a Risk” illustrates the importance of making eye contact with your teacher and your classmates when you give a public speaking speech or performance.

Click COMMUNICATION SKILLS to read the entire short story.

Mini Lesson Plan: Ted's Use of Diplomacy Saved the Day (grades 4-8)

After reading the Diplomacy story called “Ted's Use of Diplomacy Saved the Day,” students will take part in a variety of follow-up activities to enhance the learning experience. Here is a story scenario you can use to help teach about the need to be diplomatic with the other kids at school. Ted asked to join the pick-up basketball game before school. When a jock named Matt refused to let him join, Ted went over to one of his friends and complainingly called Matt a name. That began a chain reaction where Ted got himself into hot water with a few kids at school. Will Ted manage to find a way to fix the problem before his day gets any worse?

Step 1: Read the story called “Ted's Use of Diplomacy Saved the Day.”

Story Description: Ted asked to join the pick-up basketball game before school. When a jock named Matt refused to let him join, Ted went over to one of his friends and complainingly called Matt a name. That began a chain reaction where Ted got himself into hot water with a few kids at school. Will Ted manage to find a way to fix the problem before his day gets any worse?
Links to 2 chapters for “Ted's Use of Diplomacy Saved the Day.”

Chapter 1 of 2: Ted gets himself into hot water with a few kids at school

Chapter 2 of 2: Ted takes proactive steps to fix the problem

Step 2: Have class participate in the role-play based on the complete story called “Ted's Use of Diplomacy Saved the Day.”

Diplomacy role-play: Ted's Use of Diplomacy Saved the Day

Step 3: Have class participate in discussion questions about this story.

Let’s Discuss Ted's Use of Diplomacy Saved the Day

Let’s Discuss Diplomacy Tale: Ted's Use of Diplomacy Saved the Day

After reading the story called “Ted's Use of Diplomacy Saved the Day,” hold a class discussion using these five discussion questions. You can also act the story out by using the scripted role-play provided.

Link to Self-Mentoring story: Ted's Use of Diplomacy Saved the Day

Link to Self-Mentoring role-play: Ted's Use of Diplomacy Saved the Day

Click DIPLOMACY to read the ten Class Discussion Questions as a follow-up to the story called “Ted's Use of Diplomacy Saved the Day.”

Diplomacy role-play: Ted's Use of Diplomacy Saved the Day

Visit this page to get the link to the PDF file for the scripted role-play to print for classroom use called “Ted's Use of Diplomacy Saved the Day.”

A. Students participate in scripted role-play called “Ted's Use of Diplomacy Saved the Day.”

Story Description: Ted asked to join the pick-up basketball game before school. When a jock named Matt refused to let him join, Ted went over to one of his friends and complainingly called Matt a name. That began a chain reaction where Ted got himself into hot water with a few kids at school. Will Ted manage to find a way to fix the problem before his day gets any worse?

Click DIPLOMACY to read and download the role-play from Examiner.com.